“let’s talk about Russia, Ukraine, Venezuela, Colombia, Mexico, Canada. Also, where’s my fucking Nobel Peace Prize!? I’m the president of peace! I think we’re going to have to do something about Mr.Nobel as well.”

…

It’s not science, we don’t say “must have been Christianity” that brought the presents.

It’s Stephen Hawking that brings the presents! He uses wormholes to deliver them without having to go anywhere physically. It’s really just basic science.