BeeegScaaawyCripple

my family signs, so we get frustrated at the hygienist and dentist not understanding us flailing our hands about meaningfully

It’s been in development for 15 years. Duke Nukem whatever was only in dev hell for 14. Y’all ever gonna admit you got scammed?

i’m more 8 hours in 15 minutes

not me. i love when they talk about getting a colonoscopy. first, i know a titch more than general practitioners do about gastrointestinal medicine. second, i do not have a colon. it’s really fun leading them on with misleading questions for about thirty seconds.

i went on a trip and apparently bob dylan was on tour for a couple days where we were staying. i’m like, yeah for me that’s a once in a lifetime experience, but i didn’t have an extra $800 for that kind of once in a lifetime experiences right ever. I did have an extra $800 for barbecue though, so you’ll never guess what we did

wait, do you want one person that’s half orc or do you want half of an orc? i can do the three tits easy i seen’t Total Recall

back when our town had a cheap ass falling apart dollar theater we’d take pizza and chinese and whatnot. we’d just bribe the ticket dude with egg rolls or give them an extra slice and suddenly our food was invisible.

AI is a tool. if it can help dropping in a drum track or something so you can eventually LEARN to do it yourself, cool. if it does the whole damn song so you don’t have to do it yourself, go play it to a woodchipper

What? I’ve never heard anything like that before. That is… so weird. But I guess if that’s a rule, thanks.

People can change

This sounds so erotic

One crime at a time, save that crime for something good

it’s really a lifesaver for us lactose intolerant folk. regular uBo gives me gas.

coffee? Fuck that’s what’s going on i knew it. hold on

dammit yesterday was too long i thought this was a dnd joke at first

you’re right i could use some help with the next movement

So like, I used to be a skeleton wearing a skin costume and I worked fucking hard for this muffin top. It’s made me very happy/jokey when I’m out in public. When I’m yelling at clouds or shaking my fist at something it’s almost always as a joke (including that one time I wrote a whole damn manifesto yelling at the clouds) so like the only folk I try to hate are birds and they aren’t real.

Edit forgot about damn horses

My favorite t-shirt that my wife bought me says “I hate people I drink coffee and I know things” and has a bear on it