I’m going Orange. I feel like all of the others would naturally follow.
And teleport back back, right?
… Right?

I didn’t take it that way. It’s still super useful. Bribe their government to not say shit and try to keep a low profile. I don’t know how fucked your passport would look though…
Bribe em a little more and you’ll just be a frequent flyer
Bribe em to get into Schengen.
Unless you already live in the Schengen area, then if Albania ever joins the EU as it is talking about doing right now…
Black could be handy once in a while.
The vagueness gives me pause. You could effectively be a god depending on whether you can choose where and how to teleport within Tirana. Constructing buildings and shipping goods with minimal cost and energy. Renaming other towns to expand your powers. Expanding Albania to do the same. Definitely the highest ceiling
Before I saw that one I was tempted to go for the $5 AUD 😂
Trekking back every time might get old, but it’s a pretty useful one.
“[do something illegal], disappear to Tirana” can be really lucrative, so I wouldn’t care about my plane ticket spending. Wait until it joins EU, and it will be much easier to do whatever you want (otherwise it will be hard to explain, why you keep leaving the country, never crossing back
It doesn’t mention you can take stuff with you. You might end up in Tirana Terminator-style.
Black would be useful. Cutting travel costs to Albania in half. Would somewhat limit future vacation spots because I would never be able to justify spending much if I can get to Albania for free.
Black… deffers black. Can use it to get away when you cause some michegoss.
Black one for sure. You could get away with some amazing heists/pranks/achievements.
get an apartment closest to the teleport place, travelling is now cheaper as you never have to worry about the way back.
The teleport place is Tirana, Albania. Nobody said the same spot in Tirana, Albania every time. Your real estate investment was rash and very rarely saves you time. But it does increase in value a tiny bit, so eh you’re fine.
still useful for international travel, no need to get a return ticket.
You wouldn’t need a parachute to go skydiving either. Just teleport yourself before you hit the ground.
Unless your momentum doesn’t reset.
Can’t you just keep teleporting till you’re close enough to your home?
And they’ll be waiting for you in Tarana Albania, every time.
Spawn camping
You get a 5 second invulnerability when you spawn though, so just start blastin
Only if they knew that’s where I went
Everywhere? The first thing I would do is take a 3 month vacation and scout the entire city.
Best chances are to bribe the politicians and police, then you can get away with a lot.
Showing up with armfuls of bribes each time should help.
Staying anonymous would be the best way though, especially if your goings try it more than once.
Nobody said your stuff teleports. Just you. Don’t be greedy.
It didn’t say that anywhere. Next thing is that the dog doesn’t actually speak Cantonese but only understands it.
His barks are the equivalent of the barks of a actual dog in Cantonese speaking regions.
That goes for clothes too. So you arrive nude.
If you have the confidence to pull it off, you’ll get the party started every single time.
I think they’d catch on to me after I got flagged 5 times in one year leaving Albania with no record of entering the country in between.
Albania will probably join the eu in 2030. Wait 5 years, then simply live somewhere in the eu, maybe even do most of your crimes in the eu, and you won’t ever run into border checks.
Teleport. Easiest heist of my life.
Can I teleport from Tirana, Albania to point with higher altitude in Tirana, Albania?
Because infinite energy glitch.I personally took it to mean you teleport, at will, to a random point in Tirana, Albania, since it wasn’t specified.
Is it always the same random point, or will I sometimes land in the bedroom of a confused and angry Albanian?
Just teleport to Tirana then !
Talking dog, it’s so obviously talking dog
Having a dog that speaks Cantonese would be a great way to get a girlfriend that speaks both English and Cantonese, and make a shit ton of money as the dog talks to people, and the girlfriend translates.
How do you know she isn’t mistranslating your messages to the dog to make it think she’s on its side? You’ve got an awful lot of trust…
Who cares, if the money flows in? Even if both dog and and girlfriend are lying about the words, the audience will eat it up and pay for the extra entertainment!
I feel like you could easily just make money off their TV performances… Wait is the dog like as smart as a person? Isn’t going to start demanding that it sign its own contracts and have its own bank account? That could get old fast.
Why are people obsessed with using the dog to get money or women or whatever? It’s a talking fucking dog!! That’s a cool ass pet I wanna chill with my cool talking dog.
I think the conversation wouldn’t be very stimulating and it would get old fast.
“Got any more treats?”
No.
“Wanna touch me a little?”
NO.
“…can I hump your leg a little, at least?”
Nobody would believe it. They’d accuse you of faking it a la Milli Vanilli. You have a talking dog, a literal miracle, and yet people would mock and criticize. Depressed, you’d turn to alcohol. The good shit, sure–that dog made you a little money, after all–but paying more for your poison only makes it drain all of your resources that much faster. You’re a husk of your former self.
But you’ve still got your dog who still loves you unconditionally, against all odds. :)
You might not appreciate what they have to say as much as you expect. Let’s just put it that way.
Is this a reference to something I don’t get? Because I dunno how talking dog is some monkeys paw cursed blessing just because it speaks Cantonese. I don’t speak Cantonese, but, like 80 million other people do. So I could learn.
Nobody said it was negative. It simply is what it is. The dog speaks Cantonese. Take it or leave it.
Red.
Simply say “oh, its a full moon tonight?” Then look at them with your now piercingly red eyes and state “I must leave, immediately.”
Get out of any social situation and you can get your friends to think you’re hiding some big secret. Win win.
Why bother if you could simply teleport to Tirana and back afterwards ?
There’s no “and back” included
Oh, shit. Good catch. I almost died.
Happy to help, Happened to me already. Monkey’s paw -ass meme
Or “don’t make me angry, you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry” while turning your eyes green
Cantonese speaking dog.
I speak Cantonese
How do you think it’d change your relationship?
I already speak to animals like people, so them being able to hold a conversation with me sounds cool. Might make picking up their poop more awkward though.

I just don’t want it to turn out they’re all super racist or something. That’s my fear.
Does them hating cats or squirrels or something counts as being racist to you?
Nah, that’d just be genus-ist.
Or maybe generist.No, I caught both of my dogs browsing Stormfront and they’ve been really difficult since Charlie Kirk died.
Cantonese speaking dog is the obvious choice. Far more impressive than anything else here.
My wife speaks Cantonese and wants a dog so the dog is the obvious choice, but $5 is $5…
I’m not a dog person, but it’s take a chance on a rich Chinese individual wanting to adopt it for a good price.
I would 1000% learn Cantonese and have conversations with my dog.
嗚嗚
Obviously pink.
I don’t see any stipulation that says I can only use my power only once.Black, red could be useful for evading the law. Could probably profit off purple. The skull one probably has some side effect I’m not aware of.
increased csf, probalby would cause intercranial pressure. remember the stewie episode where his brain sized increased to give him telekinitic powers, if it was the side effect of that, then it wouldve ben fine.
Red could also be accomplished with contacts and you don’t waste a power. Though it’d be a great bar trick and probably get you laid to just cycle through colors RGB style.
Yeah, you could probably have a very short but lucrative career being like a mesmerist on TV with that.
Could probably give people seisures if you flashed the colors fast enough
5 bucks is 5 bucks
except not in australia
That’s $5 closer to that plane ticket home to Tirana, Albania!
I’m having a hard time deciding between the eye color and the teleport to Albania one. I’d probably eventually choose the latter, though
You’re going to get to Albania and really wish you could change eye colors, you just know it.
But like, I could take a year long rocket to Mars, and immediately return, faster than the speed of light, to Earth, and also violate causality!
Yeah, if you get to a telescope in time, you would also be able to see yourself out in space or 1 whole year.




















