I cast Volley of Lead!
In the American version of the books, they changed kids hexing each other in the corridors for shooting each other instead, to make it more believable.
Harry shotter and the chamber of bullets.
…and the One in the Chamber? Fanfic second book where harry walks into the chamber of secrets, shoots the basilisk dead in a single shot and then walks out
Gary Hunter and the Prisoner of Alaska, man
“Gary Hunter and the Gatling Gun of Fire”
Gary Hunter and the Order from the President
Gary Hunter and the Half-Bled-out Prince
Their calculation was American kids are too dumb to know what a philosopher is, but they can strip an AR-15 blindfold.
“I got 57 more goddamn rounds in this 4 rounds magazine”
“Alakablam”
Holy fucking shit, amazing. Saved and sent that to a few of my friends. Thank you for improving my day.
That fancy magic won’t protect him from a .308.
Lil magic nerds halfway through “Avada ka-” before a 5.56 round blows out the back of their skull.
“I cast gun, prepare to meet god”
I cast non-magic missile.
I cast Mundane Missile.
“The more sophisticated a magic system is, the funnier it is to pull out a gun”
Snape, probably
Sounds like something Pratchett would say
Broke: Guy with a wand
Woke: Guy with a gun
Bespoke: Guy with an ACME industrial magnet to reflect all the bullets back at the people firing them
Don’t even need a gun for that.
https://harrypotter.fandom.com/wiki/Banishing_Charm
Carry bullets and use the spell.
As if they didn’t have some simple hex that can protect them from physical projectiles.
They would have been killed a long time ago by arrows.
Gotta say the words quicker than they can pull the trigger and they have mutliple sylable words try saying one of these before you can click your mouse. Yeah I know super skilled ones don’t need to but you still have to react.
- Arresto Momentum
- Protego
- Protego Maxima
- Expelliarmus
- Accio
- Stupefy
Don’t have to say any words when it is a basic protection hex. It automatically activates.
Bummer jk Rowling never made sense out of dueling, or casting spells silently, or apparating sometimes is okay but mostly not. Even if she wasnt an asshole, trying to draw a logical line through the books is absurd.
Also a bummer that she turned out as a raging anti trans hateful nutcase.
Could you continually apparate fresh ammo into your gun?
Harry Potter, the Kalashnikov and the oil freighter.
Harry Potter and the Rocket Equation.
I think we need someone to take the world of harry potter and make it brutally realistic.
Bummer jk Rowling never made sense
I think the world building in the Harry Potter series is awful. The rules don’t make internally consistent sense, and the society that came up around those rules also don’t make sense within the motivations of how people behave in that society.
It’s so obvious that she was coming up with shit as she went along.
The Deathly Hallows were a huge asspull. Trying to make an overarching story was a mistake, the story worked best when it was “monster of the week” standard children’s fare. That kind of format can tolerate the “I’m going to introduce something new that should have wider consequences and then forget about it immediately afterwards” problems (Time Turners, Legilimency, polyjuice potions, love potions…)
I think Buffy taught us that you’d be surprised what can be killed with a shoulder fired anti-tank weapon.
Written before these books, and yet so much more considered.
Guns are a lot faster then arrows. There wouldn’t be enough reaction time.
In the books it explains that wizard robes have charms against physical attacks woven into the threads. They’re wearing full body bulletproof vests.
Where in the books does it say that?
During the Dumbledore’s army arc, I think book 5. I don’t really care enough to go back and find the quote, but it was a fairly significant plot point in the resistance movement.
Apparently, the clothing with permanent shield charms are an invention of the Weasley Twins (https://harrypotter.fandom.com/wiki/Jinx-Off). So, not as widespread in the wizarding world as you assume. The article on the shield charm itself lists that most wizards can’t produce a functional shield charm (https://harrypotter.fandom.com/wiki/Shield_Charm), so yeah, guess a muggle with a gun could kill most wizards. I apologize for linking to fandom.
Joanne really gave her child army some bulletproof t-shirts.
Yes but imagine magic infused guns
I mean yeah, one Bayonetta could take on the entire wizarding world with both hands behind her back.
with both hands behind her back.
… a gun in each of them, killing two targets at once, mid-backflip, while delivering innuendo.
Just shoot them in the face?
There’s no reason wizard hats can’t shield the face from bullets. In fact, in the later books there might be a hat that does basically that IIRC.
Besides which, wizard hats have wide brims. And they have scarves.
In the face. Where there is no cloth. Also, just shoot them with a shotgun. That’s gonna hurt like hell and bruise the shit out of them if the threads manage to stop the bullets.
Just keep shooting at it until it dies. Doom advice.
Shooting in the face where there isn’t cloth won’t necessarily help - if the hat just stop bullets aimed for the head (like a magical forcefield) then it’s pointless.
Also, it’s not gonna hurt like hell and bruise the shit out of them - you’re citing Newtonian mechanics when it’s fucking magic. Hell, maybe the forcefield just deletes the bullet instead of deflecting or blocking it.
“Shoot at it until it dies” is great advice generally, but if you shoot a water pistol at a fish then you’ll be there til you run out of ammo.
Expecto Ballbearium!
It wouldn’t even get through a wizard’s robes, they’re enchanted with protego charms (at least according to the books)
Use white phosphorus, good old Willy Pete don’t discriminate he just incinerates. Well actually he maims but who cares wizards didn’t sign no convention or protocol.
By that logic every attack can be protected against when clearly thats not the case.
Father Weasley, can’t remember his name, repeatedly shows us that wizards raised purely in the magical world are unbelievably stupid when it comes to the non-magic world so it wouldn’t surprise me in the slightest if they didn’t even know what a gun was.
Wait a minute. We can go deeper. In the deathly hallows, when they tell the story about the invincible wand, the original owner loses it because someone straight up cut his throat — no magic. Harry also takes it from Malfoy by beating the shit out of him.
I’m a little bit surprised Rowling didn’t throw in something about some human technology not working in the wizarding world, like electronics and firearms. Surely this came up while the books were being written.
but she did just what you described
I remember reading it
I don’t remember which book but I also have this clear memory of a quick passage saying all the magic around them was messing up with electronics.
Also I’m pretty sure in the Deathly Hallows they use the internet to follow Death Eaters sighting while they are in hiding
(Been a while… and I’m not bothered enough to go check 🤣)
its either directly in the books refering guns specifically or… it might have been an official out of the books source.
i used to be interested in this shit over a decade ago when the last books weren’t yet finished: there was a fancy flash based official site where lore snippets and bullshit from jk got published
I hate JKR too, but she literally did. Wizard clothes are enchanted with protego charms which turn away any mundane attacks, and wizards really have no reason to fear muggles. During the witch trials some would allow themselves to be burned at the stake because they liked how the flames tickle. It’s very much a ‘magic must defeat magic’ setting.
No one thought to make magic bullets to counter protego charms?
Isn’t that just the killing curse with extra steps? Magic is a lot harder to evade.
Don’t they drive a car? and ride a train? so combustion works… kind of has to work
Pretty sure wizards are familiar with old technology like trains and cars. But like another comment said, muggles are advancing while wizards stagnate in their old ways and traditions and shit sice they keep themselves so separated.
Combustion is very old technology. Putting it inside a different machine (e.g. a gun or a car engine) doesn’t change the chemistry. If you want to get right down to it, we’re just talking about oxidation - which means that in any sort of world where rapid oxidation doesn’t work (i.e. explosives), your lungs also don’t work because you need that oxygen bonding with the iron in your hemoglobin or you die.
If you can light a fire, you can make an explosion. If you can make an explosion, you can use it to launch a projectile.
There’s no world in which fire exists but guns are impossible. Even if you don’t have the metalworking sophistication for a modern gun, you could still make a Chinese-style gunpowder rocket.
Or just straight up bombs. The beauty is that an IED can catch even a master wizard off guard. No need for metalworking, and since they use cars, well… surely there is some character with Irish roots, right?
This is a world with flying broomsticks and cars, teleportation, and even time travel.
Of course you can get away with saying gunpowder just doesn’t explode here.
Combustion, sure, but not an explosion. Or the car is a special magic car or whatever.
Explosions are combustion.
And really we’re just talking about oxidation. If oxidation works (which it must, because the characters are breathing) then chemically-propelled projectiles must also work.
Look, we’re talking about a world where people fly around on broomsticks like we ride bicycles.
Of course you can just declare that firearms don’t work.
Combustion, sure, but not an explosion.
I hate to do this to you, but that’s kind how explosions work (i.e. combustion).
More specifically, that’s how cars with a combustion engine work: lots of tiny explosions.
No, they’re a combustion event. An actual explosion (detonation, pre ignition) is really bad news for an engine.
Firearms use a self oxidising propellant, so it would be quite easy to say that just doesn’t work.
What, pray tell, do you think is in gunpowder? It’s not magic dust that goes bang. It’s a pre-mixed, pre-compressed mixture of fuel and oxidiser. When used in a gun, whether it’s a muzzle-loader or a cartridge, the confined combustion of the mixture generates thermal energy and expanding gases that impart kinetic energy on a moving component (the piston or a projectile). The only difference is that the combustion event in an ICE is subsonic (deflagration) while the combustion in a gun is supersonic (detonation).
@Ilovethebomb@sh.itjust.works is correct.
I should’ve done my homework before going all “well akshullay 🤓” on them (sorry!).
The only similarities between the two is that they both are chemical reactions that produce a rapid release of energy. But past that, they are much different in how they get to that point.
The only difference is that the combustion event in an ICE is subsonic (deflagration) while the combustion in a gun is supersonic (detonation).
So what you’re saying is there’s a fundamental difference between the two?
Nope, there’s a fundamental difference between a fuel/air mixture burning and something like gunpowder, which is a self oxidising propellant. Most explosives are in the latter category.
Don’t be coy, you absolutely love doing this.
For all we know the hogwarts express runs on magic and so does the car, after all it flies.
For all we know the hogwarts express runs on magic
It makes steam.
Aesthetic is more important than practicality.
Magic steam.
So it’s electric?
Sub-etha steam-o-matic.
This is just Harry Dresden novels
Also Arcanum a CRPG by troika, there’s a newspaper you can find where someone tried to put a fire enchantment on a musket took out a city block.
She all but stated that humanity is advancing beyond the wizarding world. There’s really no explanation beyond “wizards are actually very stupid and stagnating within their intellectually, and very literally, incestuous society.”
Mr Weasley is seen as a weird oddball for engaging in studying muggle technology. The wizarding world sees it all as a bunch of pointless nonsense that muggles have to go through just because they don’t have magic. Clever in its own way, but utterly futile.
Why spend hundreds of people’s effort, lots of money and enormous amounts of time using a vehicle to go somewhere when you can hop in a fireplace and think about where you want to go, or simply apparate there?
Why carry a complicated muggle weapon around and spend time and effort learning how to use it well, when you can kill someone with two words you’ve known since you were a child?
Voldemort isn’t just protected by being a powerful wizard, he’s also protected by the bully’s standard protections of surrounding themselves with sycophants who unquestioningly support them (by ruthlessly turning against people who question their authority or judgment), having no moral hesitancy whatsoever and avoiding like the plague fair fights wherever there’s a chance they’d not win.
So because of Voldemort’s followers who will turn up in an instant and his horcruxes, you have to be prepared to sacrifice your life to have a chance of opposing him openly, which is of course what Lily Potter did.
Strange that JKR, who clearly didn’t like bullies, would choose to bully trans people and use her money and influence against them. Admittedly she clearly had a bit of a problem with blonde people before she wrote book 1, so not exactly completely free from prejudice.
If I could offer an additional perspective, one of the most fundamentally interesting aspects in the study of Paleolithic peoples to me is its occupants’ intense desire to choose the best tools. The best tools for fighting, the best tools for crafting, the best tools for presenting, the best tools for fucking, etc…
You’ll often find items from far and wide in their caches. Stones and gems and shells and bones, and yes I encourage you to make the joke, from a hundred miles away, all brought painstakingly back despite local resources being nearly comparable. It’s a fundamentally human characteristic to aggregate useful peculiarities, and neglecting them is new.
The wizards are losing touch with their humanity, if we take this story written by a troubled schoolteacher literally.
The one on the right saying ‘would’ absolutely makes it.
idgi
‘Sorry, i have to kill you in a messier way now’ while revealing the fact they’re absolutely ripped.
To which the goblin responds ‘sould’[fuck with that in a sexual manner]
Thanks
Such a simple skit but his performance in this is magnificent. I think I looked up some other videos from them, but they didn’t quite manage to capture anything equally as hilarious.
That skit how they use shotguns in movies never fails to get me though.
