I almost was in the 3.3%… dodged it by only a few years.
Then I went without for a long while after though because I mistakenly thought any sex I’d have after that would probably be equally mediocre and it wasn’t worth the effort. Realized that was stupid and I was missing out. Now I’m trying hard to get into a sexual relationship of some kind again with some minor success in the form of occasional one night stands. They’re OK fun. I think my autism makes it hard to maintain the relationships though beyond one or two nights. My masking inevitably slips a little and I say or do something cringe or rude.
I’m bi I’ve been contemplating getting on Grindr to explore my homo side a bit more but from what I hear that’s basically nothing but one night stands…
It’s okay to be different and that often comes with struggles. But it sounds like you’re trying to attack the problem with yourself and not just giving up and being angry about the world. That’s a good mindset to have.
Sex is fun, but it doesn’t cure loneliness. If you’re looking for a longer term solution then start looking to build lasting relationships, be open about having autism and you’ll find that the people you end up meeting will be going into things with you with a bit more understanding and empathy than if you just try, and fail, masking.
And, as always, a therapist is very useful when you’re trying to make a big change in your life. Having someone who is both educated in psychology and an unbiased observer can really help you see and understand things that you’d otherwise miss.
Only problem is every time I’ve been open about my autism with a person I was attracted to up front their interest starts to slowly fade. Its not immediate, but I suspect they start framing everything I say or do as part of my autism and I think they lose interest because of that. Though its impossible to know, and it might be coincidence or I’m seeing patterns where there are none. So I tend to keep it to myself with in person interactions more these days.
I almost was in the 3.3%… dodged it by only a few years.
Then I went without for a long while after though because I mistakenly thought any sex I’d have after that would probably be equally mediocre and it wasn’t worth the effort. Realized that was stupid and I was missing out. Now I’m trying hard to get into a sexual relationship of some kind again with some minor success in the form of occasional one night stands. They’re OK fun. I think my autism makes it hard to maintain the relationships though beyond one or two nights. My masking inevitably slips a little and I say or do something cringe or rude.
I’m bi I’ve been contemplating getting on Grindr to explore my homo side a bit more but from what I hear that’s basically nothing but one night stands…
It’s okay to be different and that often comes with struggles. But it sounds like you’re trying to attack the problem with yourself and not just giving up and being angry about the world. That’s a good mindset to have.
Sex is fun, but it doesn’t cure loneliness. If you’re looking for a longer term solution then start looking to build lasting relationships, be open about having autism and you’ll find that the people you end up meeting will be going into things with you with a bit more understanding and empathy than if you just try, and fail, masking.
And, as always, a therapist is very useful when you’re trying to make a big change in your life. Having someone who is both educated in psychology and an unbiased observer can really help you see and understand things that you’d otherwise miss.
Only problem is every time I’ve been open about my autism with a person I was attracted to up front their interest starts to slowly fade. Its not immediate, but I suspect they start framing everything I say or do as part of my autism and I think they lose interest because of that. Though its impossible to know, and it might be coincidence or I’m seeing patterns where there are none. So I tend to keep it to myself with in person interactions more these days.