skill issue huh, shame
I’m with the therapist. You couldn’t possibly have wanted sex for that long and not gotten laid. It’s just sex.
Usually with a therapist or other people, there would be more likely of asexual erasure than questioning how I would have not gotten sex yet
Such empathy
Just get some estrogens, and a cute dress, is easier to have sex as a woman, really
Satisfaction not guaranteed!
so you’re asexual?
I want to have sex, I just haven’t
So, quick note, you can be asexual as in have no attraction to anyone and still be open to sex and horny. “I just haven’t found the right person yet!” can be it and you don’t understand the difference for decades.
That sounds more like aromanticism.
You can want sex but not be sexually attracted to anyone.
Yes, that’s called aromanticism. You can also be attracted to people without wanting sex, which is usually referred to as asexuality. You can also be both.
That’s what I said, that is asexuality, not aromanticism.
Fake: Anon would read David Smail’s How To Survive Without Psychotherapy before going to therapy
Straight: She then “suggest” hypnosis for his not getting laid, then over many sessions with post-hypnotic suggestions, turns him into a mindless obidient drone towards every women he meets, even when inconvenient.
she
There’s the problem, right there. Women marinate in so much attention they just cannot understand how men can want relationships and sex, yet not be able to get it. Their brains melt down when you demonstrate how fundamentally and radically different the male experience is.
Men: if you want true understanding, you have a much better chance of achieving that with a male therapist.
Yet another one for the “Lemmy isn’t sexist” collection.
Oh my friend, stereotyping is kinda ridiculous. You have no idea what other people know unless you talk to them.
While your underlying point isn’t a bad one, you’ve done a remarkably poor job of expressing it.
And I am astounded at the levels of cultivated ignorance needed to not have the point leap out and bodily slap people across the face.
Swing and a miss.
I think the most women are smart enough to understand the differences between how men and women experience and express sexual desire, but maybe it sometimes grad school beats it out of people.
Like it’s truly bizarre that her first response was “Oh you’re asexual”, just immediately slapping an identity label on the experience rather than asking a simple probing question in the vein of “Why?”
(Of course all green texts are fake and gay etc)
I think the most women are smart enough to understand the differences between how men and women experience and express sexual desire, but maybe it sometimes grad school beats it out of people.
You are so far out in left field it isn’t even funny.
It’s just not the kind of response I’ve heard from women who aren’t super libed out, much less therapists, but I suspect there is trend away from listening and understanding and towards quick diagnosis and categorization in therapy.
The problem here might be taking greentext screenshots as facts.
Those aren’t the facts I go after. You should examine the stats that come out of things like dating apps and papers published by actual sociologists examining intergender relationships. It’s absolutely wild how those real-world facts run completely counter to what most women say.
Could you show me some of those facts?
Could you show me some of those facts?
On mobile, no direct access to sources. But:
Compare the average man with the average woman. In general,
- the man will swipe right about 100 times before he can arrange a single coffee date.
- out of five coffee dates, four will ghost him or otherwise fail to show up, leading to one successful date per thousand attempts.
- the average woman who asks can get the same buy-in by men for every ≈5 swipes right
- she will see only one ghosting or otherwise failing to follow through for every ≈25 such coffee dates.
- just managing to leverage a date is a 20:1 advantage in the woman’s favour.
- actually going on a date and not getting ghosted is about a 100:1 advantage in the woman’s favour.
.
- when men were presented with a scenario where a woman met 80% of his desired attributes, about ¾ said they would gladly entertain a relationship with her.
- when a woman was presented with the flip proposition, where a man met 80% of her desired attributes, a similar ¾ of them said the exact opposite… that they would absolutely refuse to entertain a relationship with such a man due to his glaring inadequacies.
.
- when gauging women, men invariably graded them on an almost perfect bell curve, with half being above average in physical attractiveness, and half below.
- when gauging men, women skewed the bell curve severely towards the bottom end, with slightly over 80% of men being “below average attractiveness”.
- men’s bell curve of women shifted objectively based on how attractive the cohort of women were. A more beautiful group was shifted higher, no different than if they were just a part of a larger group.
- women rated a more attractive group of men equally as harshly as a more random group, with 80% of them still being “below average attractiveness” regardless of how highly attractive they might be among the general population.
.
- individual exceptions exist, but in general women are still very loathe to marry a man that makes less than they do, or has a less socially prestigious job than she does. Women who make more than $100k almost never marry men who make less than they do, even when that difference is almost negligible.
- when the woman makes $100k, the average husband’s wage is about $220k
- In fact, early retirement by the man (and sometimes, even just retirement at the appropriate age) precipitates 100% of all retirement-triggered divorces… which are invariably woman-initiated.
Now, nothing is technically bad about any of this. It’s how evolution has shaped each sex to optimize their own sexual success.
Where things get ugly is when one side uses their own experience to whitewash the other side to either ignore issues, remain ignorant of those issues, or deny they even exist.
Cherry picked lined aren’t going to convince anyone without context and peer-reviewed sources.
Where in the greentext does it say OP is a man?
Links to sources or didn’t happen
she
There’s the problem, right there.
uhh
Women marinate in so much attention
lol what?
bro seek help
bro seek help
For what? Being obsessed with reality? Putting evidence above ideology?
Sorry, no. I know how things are like out there, I’ve seen the data.
Sorry, no. I know how things are like out there, I’ve seen the data.
bwahaha… never thought to go out and experience life, no, you’re convinced you have it all figured out.
you’ve seen the data? the data?
GO OUT AND MEET PEOPLE AND FORM RELATIONSHIPS YOU FUCKING TWATS, THERE ARE NO SHORT CUTS
GO OUT AND MEET PEOPLE AND FORM RELATIONSHIPS
Inapplicable: already married for the last 20 years, together for 30 years.
I’m taken, not blind or ignorant. I have eyes to see what is happening out there, how much things have changed in the last three decades, how the relationships of others progress under modern conditions of Internet-unfettered hypergamy, and a functional mind with which to examine and critically analyze recorded statistics.
taken, not blind or ignorant… wow…
do you express these views to your wife? How’s that go lol?
I can’t speak for rekabis but my wife has agreed with everything rekabis said, as some of her own friends and many coworkers are exactly like this.
As for my own experience: back when Facebook was still “the Facebook”, I was in a Human Sexuality class in college. The prof split up the men and women and then had each side list what they want in a partner to illustrate that men and women have different values, and I was utterly disgusted by both sides.
Men: I want a woman with little sexual experience who will be obedient and faithful (translated: doting kissless virgin who will suck me off whenever I want, and never talk to other men)
Women: I want an independent man who can take me places, help me get what I need, and who listens (translated: a man who lives on his own, owns a car, will buy me things, and who will not challenge my braindead assumptions about life as a man)
I was listening to both sides construct their ideal person and then realize they couldn’t say what they actually wanted to say, so they reworded it, hence the translations. That’s the day I decided I would go find an intelligent woman who actually wants to touch grass and start a family. ~15 years later I have never been more glad I made that call because it does not appear that things improved at all.
Yeah, as usual she’s the problem. lmao
Yeah, as usual she’s the problem. lmao
The therapist, who is utterly unwilling to consider that a man’s reality is wildly different from her own experiences?
Yes, absolutely.
Fake- anon talks to girl
Gay- anon goes to therapy
therapist is offering to suck his dick and he’s just not getting it
That’s the gay part. Fake: man goes to therapy. Gottem.
I think I can see what went wrong here. The therapist is probably trying to disrupt their internal narrative but hasn’t established the baseline trust. Confrontation can be important in therapy. Sometimes, people can get the idea that their agency doesn’t matter, that they are just the sort of person who doesn’t get to (lose weight/have sex/get that job/etc.) and part of a therapist’s job can be to get the patient to break down that belief by questioning it, but if they haven’t established the necessary trust with the patient, it just comes across like a trollish comment on the internet, a random attack from a stranger who might not only not be doing it for your best interest but even to be hurtful for their own amusement.
The problem is that it’s bad fiction.
Yeah the “you didn’t really try” can be super dismissive from a stranger. Or it can be a positive message like “you are stronger than you think” coming from a friend. But I don’t think even coming a friend you’d get that, when you are down the hole.
This is the only sensible response I can see in the whole comments section. Lot of replies from people who think a therapist’s job is to cheer you up with a wholesome pep talk and send you on your way.
i wish a lady would interrupt my narrative with her baseline trust.
*thrust
it just comes across like a trollish comment on the internet, a random attack from a stranger who might not only not be doing it for your best interest but even to be hurtful for their own amusement.
And Only time and repetition will be able to tell if it’s in good faith or bad faith.
Therapist are like toothpaste. You keep trying another one until you find one that you like.
It took me half a decade to find my first therapist (that would be covered by insurance and accepts new patients (the German health system is fucked)). But I do believe I got quite lucky.
You should see the finnish system… there is no therapist on sight to point of being illegal by basic constitutional rights, and still nobody bats an eye nor do you get any treatment that helps.
I like my toothpaste like I like my therapists, twice a day and in my mouth.
Most people would say shoes …
I just switched to a new toothpaste.
How is it?
A little too minty.
Do you like cinnamon? I switched to cinnamon paste and floss, because my cat loves mint. I didn’t know it existed until I just searched out of desperation.
You don’t like your cat checking your breath?
I do like cinnamon. So much so I just restocked my Wrigleys big red supply. I don’t think I want cinnamon toothpaste though.
On to the next one, then.
I still got most of a tube to work my way through. I think I’m going try the cheapest colgate next.
I recommend whatever the cheapest Sensodyne is.
Mint is milder than Colgate. Active ingredient is Strenuous fluoride which is better for your teeth and bonus points it reduces sensitivity to hot/cold
In my experience, Colgate tends to leave a feeling that the teeth and mouth are still not as clean as they should be — at least the cheap varieties do. That’s while I scrub in there for like fifteen minutes.
In comparison, everything feels squeaky clean after Blend-a-Med. But idk if it’s widely available outside of the Europes.
$2 tube of Colgate w/ baking soda & peroxide. All you need.
Nothing makes someone feel safe and heard like a therapist completely unable to comprehend that something considered socially embarrassing is possible. If you have a friend like this, heathygamergg on YouTube is making some amazing dating videos and thinks helping someone date is something simple every therapist should be able to do. Maybe not quickly but as he put it, a 5 year goal so you aren’t as desperate
You also have to take into account that is a very high possibility that what this guy is doing is being creepy and a “nice guy”, and whether intentionally or not is pushing anybody who might be potentially interested in him away.
I’ve seen it with one of my idiot friends. He’s perfectly nice normal person and you can have sensible conversations with them but whenever it comes to hitting on girls he goes all pick up artist on them. Of course if there’s one group of people who can’t hit on girls it’s people who watch pickup videos on YouTube.
So green text got a shitty therapist and needs to get a new one. Pretty normal, really.
had a therapist try to get me to realize Jesus is the answer to all of life’s problems. At the time I had been going to a christian church all my life. like yeah, OK Debbie, I like Jesus too, but praying it’s making me have less OCD behaviors I want need to start coping with or breaking so it stops ruining my life.
Therapists with specialties seem to dislike it when their client doesn’t fall under that umbrella. I had a therapist whose specialty was child sexual abuse. I told her I didn’t experience any and she defensively snapped “Are you sure? Maybe you don’t remember it!”. I did not stick with her for long.
I swear some therapists exist just to teach you to stick up for yourself by being lousy at their jobs.
What do you even supposed to say to that.
I’m pretty sure it never happened but I guess I could have forgotten, I guess, if you want.
To be fair, black-hole-ing a traumatic memory absolutely happens to people. That said, that reaction is absolutely not how to go about resurfacing that kind of thing. If anything it needs to be handled with way more care than self-reported trauma.
Nope. This was mostly a psychological fad in the 1980s that led to many ruined lives from false accusations. Even the Wikipedia page starts off by saying the phenomenon has been largely discredited. Many people still believe in it but the vast majority of cases of “repressed memory” cannot be independently proven outside of the patient and therapist and in many cases are actually contradicted by externally verifiable facts.
aka all the 1980s/1990s lit on alien abduction was based on this crap and using ‘hypnosis’ to ‘reveal’ it.
it makes for good story telling, which is why it became a staple of TV dramatizations.
Are you sure? Cause mostly I hear the idea of repressed memories being bullshit.
See the Satanic Panic where a bunch of people suddenly “remembered” being forced to do Satanic Rituals at daycare
I have repressed memories, but that was intentional on my part and its not like it undoes the C-PTSD. Just means I don’t wake up in a cold sweat anymore like I did when I was 10, the memories are there and can come back with the right trigger but they are luckily rather scarce.
I just wish I could do that to the embarrassing shit I’ve done over the years, and there’s one happening right now FUCK. It’s like I have a cursed version of Nenios ability to forget in Pathfinder wrath of the righteous.
It’s a thing. It’s because Traumatic™ memories are stored differently in your brain than normal bad memories. Essentially the part of your brain primarily responsible for digging up memories doesn’t have the connections it world normally use to call up the memory, but the connections within the sensations and experiences of the memory still exist. That’s why a person can “unlock” these memories.
You have to be super careful trying to dig these things out though, because it is absolutely possible to accidentally lead a person into false memories.
Informational and episodic memory are stored in different parts of the brain and recalling episodic memory also involves the emotion centres but I don’t think a happy memory and a traumatic memory are necessarily stored any differently.
How does PTSD fit into repressed memories?
I have very few memories of my dad being abusive to me, family has told me stories and I remember none of them but I know they happened.
when all you have is a hammer everything looks like a nail and stuff
"are you sure it’s that you just weren’t a hot enough kid? "
"how does it feel to know your parents/relatives didn’t find you sexually attractive enough to abuse you? "
"are you sure it’s that you just weren’t a hot enough kid? "
"how does it feel to know your parents/relatives didn’t find you sexually attractive enough to abuse you? "
Story of Mr(s) Garrison’s life.
The therapist smelled red pill ideology and chose to turn away the client rather than suffer someone who consistently undoes their work by going back to the manosphere.
I know several virgins who are older than that who don’t adhere to red pill ideology. They’re just not very attractive and have social anxiety issues so they’ve never been able to find a partner. Therapy would probably help them out in that regard. I don’t think therapists making assumptions like is depicted here is the way to go. Also don’t think this story is real.
What in this post indicates that?
That’s kind of an insane conclusion to draw from this, honestly. Do you think any guy who can’t get laid is a redpilled denizen of the manosphere?
In their defense, this is Anon from 4Chan
But overall I agree with you
Fair.
People ironically promoting toxic masculinity by perpetuating the stigma that a man needs to get laid in order to be respectable and have self-worth.
OP needs a new therapist using a different therapy style. Keep trying folks. (I have my favorites, but so does everyone.)
finding a good therapist is like dating, but you gotta pay for dates. it’s hard finding one that’s good for you.
You must not live in America.
What, you think we get free healthcare here? Like some kind of civilized country?
Huh? They were saying that in response to the other person implying that you don’t have to pay for therapy.
I think they were implying you don’t have to pay for dates…
No, they explicitly said you have to pay for dates.
Ah fuck, you are right.
I parsed it differently and changed the meaning of “dates” mid-sentence, which one shouldn’t do when reading.
i do, it sucks
if op had the bandwidth to treat going to therapy like dating, they probably would not be a virgin, and would possibly not need therapy
Why pay for therapy when you can pay for sex?
i doubt that would fix the problem they are in therepy for
Im not sure if this fake person would solve all their problems by having sex.
that was not the implication, the implication is that if they were healthy enough to seek social fulfillment by “dating” multiple therapists, then they would have been healthy enough that they would have found social fulfillment by dating.
not that sex is some magic panacea.
i am pointing out an oxymoron
OP is definitely lying about how this conversation went down
