• veni_vedi_veni@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    Just get used to rejection, until you become enlightened enough to realize that life is suffering and you only have value insofar as how useful/reliable to others you are.

    Anyone telling you otherwise is stunting your growth.

        • Chakravanti@monero.town
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          3 months ago

          Because no one is going to tolerate attention from someone who hasn’t any outside theselves. Just because someone’s ego is of a despicable opinion doesn’t mean they’re not narcissistic. It does mean they don’t yet know what the fuck to think about what they see.

          Want a short cheat sheet?

          Ego exists to create dying

          Murder any notion of that sense. You’ll never be worth attention from outside youself any time you spot that nonsense.

          Just ask the downstairs daddy that eats the dead.

          Psi is Psy is Sci is Sigh

  • spicy pancake@lemmy.zip
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    3 months ago

    > pretending to be a girl online so that i can get just a little attention from a human being for once
    > talking to this guy, seems really sweet and we have a bunch of common interests
    > mfw i actually start to really care about this guy
    > he alludes to abandonment issues in his past
    > ohno.jpg
    > panic, tell him i have to go to bed
    > try to go to bed but can’t sleep from guilt
    > can’t bring myself to message him the truth that i am a girlpretender attention whore
    > decide just blocking him is the least painful option for both of us
    am i a bad person?

    • Samsy@lemmy.ml
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      3 months ago

      I bet everyone has pretended to be the opposite sex online. Maybe just for the giggles. But anyone who does that all the time, straight to hell.

      • spicy pancake@lemmy.zip
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        3 months ago

        or straight to therapy and hopefully a trans supportive community haha (not that it would excuse catfishing)

        • Diurnambule@jlai.lu
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          3 months ago

          I try to not reveal my gender when speaking online. I don’t fell it pertinent and it is nice to be able to act which ever role you chose to at the moment.

          • burntbacon@discuss.tchncs.de
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            3 months ago

            Bingo, bango! Whenever gender comes up, I flip a coin for what I’ll answer. With rare exception, gender is meaningless in most places and is only being used by the other side as a red herring at best.

      • Farid@startrek.website
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        3 months ago

        That’s kind of a weird assumption. What qualifies as pretending? I don’t think I have ever done that.

        • Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world
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          3 months ago

          I’m a woman on Lemmy with a gender-neutral username, which means I don’t have to try to “pretend” anything - people assume I’m a guy by default. Hell, it also happened back when I was on Reddit and used a female-coded username, which is even more confusing.

          I can only imagine the gender performances these guys are putting on if they’re able to easily convince others that they’re women. Some people apparently take “there are no women on the internet” literally and can’t seem to process when women appear online (in a non-porn context, at least. Which is really disheartening.) I’ve had people full-on argue with me that I couldn’t really be female, because I once posted a picture that included my hand and apparently it “wasn’t feminine enough.” (That’s what I get for keeping my nails short and disliking nail polish, I guess. Who knew even women’s hands are expecting to conform to rigid gender expectations?)

          • Malfeasant@lemmy.world
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            3 months ago

            imagine the gender performances these guys are putting on

            Hello, fellow woman. Would you like to go to the bathroom together and have periods?

      • TheSlad@sh.itjust.works
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        3 months ago

        I never have on purpose, but in games i like to play as female characters. This was very useful in runescape back in the mid-2000s. Desperate guys would just asume you were a girl IRL and give you free shit asking to be your boyfriend.

        • bitjunkie@lemmy.world
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          3 months ago

          All my WoW alts were female because my then-girlfriend thought dudes were giving her all kinds of stuff because she was such a good healer. To prove a point I made a level 1 female character and undressed on the Orgrimmar mailbox, and made more gold than her main had in like 10 minutes. Sleeping on the couch was so worth it.

  • Rachelhazideas@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    Because men don’t have a strong enough social support system to have cathartic talks about their emotions. Because women aren’t willing to disproportionately shoulder emotional labor anymore.

    The patriarchy hurts everyone. Normalize discussing mental health among men. Don’t let stigma stop you from telling your friends from how much they mean to you and how you’re here if they need to talk.

    • aceshigh@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      Why is there always an assumption that women have support? Also, you really shouldn’t trauma dump on your friends either - they won’t be able to give you space and it may affect them emotionally. Go to a support group and share there.

      • LH0ezVT@sh.itjust.works
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        3 months ago

        My (presumably) man, get better friends. If I can make a friend of mine feel better by listening to him, why wouldn’t I? I may not know what to say, but I would try my best. The saddest (on an inter-personal level, not as in “the world is going to shit”) thing I experienced recently was a friend of mine basically disappearing because of mental health issues. I think I understand why he did that, comparing yourself to others sucks, but I wish I could help him more than the occasional “hey, how are you doing?” when we randomly meet somewhere.

      • Rachelhazideas@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        There wasn’t. I never said every woman always has support. I only said that men struggle with vocalizing mental health needs among their friends.

        If talking to your friends about trauma at the appropriate stage in your friendship is considered trauma dumping, I’m sorry to say that I’m afraid you don’t have close friends.

        That, or you’re coddling and patronizing your friends for lacking the emotional maturity to handle deeper conversations.

        True friendship comes from being comfortable with your vulnerabilities around your friends, and having each other’s backs. A support group isn’t a substitute because it’s premise is transactional in nature, where you are expected to talk about and listen to trauma without attachment.

  • Flax@feddit.uk
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    3 months ago

    It was someone in China working for a game company trying to flirt with you to get you to sign up and play their game with them

    • Echo Dot@feddit.uk
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      3 months ago

      I got to “she has to go to bed” before I realised that this was all the same day.

      Trauma dumping can be cathartic but perhaps maybe don’t do it within the first two hours of having met someone. Also don’t do it too much because your problems aren’t there problems.

      • SoleInvictus@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        3 months ago

        It’s definitely a third date or beyond activity. When I was single, I always asked third dates to compare their emotional baggage with me, but wouldn’t discuss it in depth until later. We all have it, so might as well bring it out but not all of it at once. Better to savor the pain.

  • ryedaft@sh.itjust.works
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    3 months ago

    Just having a chill conversation with someone online.

    They tell me that they’ve had their heart broken in the past and they’re very sensitive.

    mfw I had no idea this was a date is this person completely bonkers

      • ryedaft@sh.itjust.works
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        3 months ago

        I would absolutely say something like that while freaking out - even though this is online and I’m not in any danger

  • Sanctus@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    NGL I do not miss keeping up with that shit. Its such a drag. Yet somehow waking up and saying good morning to someone is the shit.