Date someone younger who doesn’t realise how weird you are. /s
For real though that seems to be a favourite in the weirdo playbook
I mean i kinda get what anon means but maybe the first step could be getting off of 4chan? That shit melts your brain and you already see it from this normie/wierdo split that isnt really a real thing. Irl you WILL find the people who think like you because were all on a spectrum.
Edit: just to clarify i mean spectrum in the way of personality, not the autism spectrum. Tho id argue that some neurotypical people relate more to autistic people than other neurotypicals but thats a story for another day.
I have yet to meet anyone that plays FIFA and would pass as “normal”.
If somebody literally only played FIFA I would consider that weird.
What the FUCK do you do?
Have you tried getting a boyfriend? I dunno, worked for me.
The masculine urge to get a pet femboy bf
The masculine urge to be the girlfriend.
Maybe anon is just an asshole.
May you could try to find people who like the things you like?
Sounds like anon is way over-thinking all of this and just needs to learn to accept themself.
Just get a sex doll
Is this anyone else’s experience? I don’t fit neatly in any box, I have friends in all of them. I have friends in traditional marriages with the woman as the homemaker, I have all sorts of queer friends. I have friends that think videogames are edgy, others playing D&D every second day, others in sword battle reenactment, others in crochet. Never struggled relating to them or them to me. I moved around a lot, still found “my people” in no time. We are all multifaceted people with a variety of interests and thoughts.
I definetly don’t fit in but also have friends and a partner i live with (of 10 yrs)
I mostly LARP at it though because I don’t fit in. Am 58, m and don’t want to fit in :)
The part where he talks about video games definitely feels like my experience, at least when it comes to meeting people outside of the context of a specific game and its community.
When I’ve gotten into convos in these situations, usually it’ll be evident they mostly only play some set of the following games:
- Overwatch
- Rainbow Six
- Genshin Impact
- Stardew Valley
- Helldivers 2
- Last of us
- God of War
- GTA
- Red Dead 2
That’s not a complete list, but for the most part it will be a bunch of games like that with a sizeable, committed, “normie” following that I don’t play. I can’t bond with these people over games even though on a surface level we’re both “gamers”, because the only game we’ll have in common is Minecraft.
I think the gap here is that for someone like me or anon, we have interests and want to find people who are also interested in that thing, but from the sounds of your post you’re finding people and getting your interests from them. In the latter case, of course there’s no trouble connecting with people, because you’re more willing to mold yourself to do so.
I have been mulling over your comment for a couple of days.
I think the set up is different. I have a lot of things I am interested in, but none that is fundamental. So I can easily start a conversation over a shared interest, even if the other interests do not align. Sometimes I pick up extra stuff on the way, but mostly I use a limited shared interest to set the foundations from which to develop a friendship. I find that once you get talking for a bit, you don’t need a specific shared topic anymore.
Do you aim to build friendships fully connected to your interests?
Everything you just described is my experience too, minus the part about having a lot of interests already.
The thing that I was describing is that, for whatever reason, the things that I find interesting are niche enough to others that I won’t find people who already know/care about the same things organically. That’s not much of an issue if you have enough interests to balance that out, but I don’t really have that.
To put it another way, I’m not filtering for people who already have most of my interests, I’m filtering for people who share any of my interests, but that’s already filters most because I’m into few things with little popularity. So, “connected to [my] interests?” Yes. “Fully”? No.
That probably sounds really lonely, but I honestly don’t mind that much. Like you’ve described, most of the friends I’ve had for a while I can talk about whatever with. What I’m describing is mostly a mild inconvenience when meeting new people.
Count your blessings
What is it with men and their obsession with women anyway? Dude seems like a gigachad but yeah getting friends/gf is gon be tough if suggest giving up and looking elsewhere for meaning.
Are we really at the stage of social collapse where people are confused by guys being attracted to women?
But it’s often phrased like a “need”. I’m attracted to men and women. I don’t need them like I need oxygen, food, nicotine etc.
Need for companionship falls under “social” in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, right above physiological needs (like you listed) and safety.
I guess friends dont fit the companionship bill.
Yeah I always assumed it meant like a dog or some fish
Within current social dynamics, women do generally get more out of friendship than men
When people are young adults, their attraction to their preferred sex is peaking, maybe you’re different, but for most people it does feel like a need.
Not that OP actually mentioned ‘need’ anywhere in their long post…
Well sure maybe during puberty, but after you just adjust surely, nah? I mean there’s lots of men with like horrific disabilities, disfigurements etc. that just make it highly unlikely they’ll ever find a mate, yet they live nonetheless.
Some people dont have that need, some people commit suicide because that need is never fulfilled. For me, my reasons are simple. There is nothing in this world worth living for except other people. Everything else is material.
Id also like to have someone who wants to do things with me. Games, hiking, etc. Someone who shares a lot of my interests.
But what I need, is someone to sleep next to. Everyday I wake up without anyone to wake up to I’m hit with such an uncontrollable depression that it really reinstills how much I despise the mechanisms of this world.
I’m sorry. I understand better now, thanks for sharing this.
Stop being weird i guess 🤷🏼
Anon has odd ideas what a “normie” is.
Normies and weirdos have odd ideas what a normie or a weirdo is. That’s kinda OP’s problem. The spaces they think they should feel comfortable in aren’t comfortable(enough) with them.
Sounds like they aren’t comfortable enough in their own skin, and the people they try to get to know catch onto that quick, to be honest. That, and/or they are allergic to feedback/criticism.
I am not like people at my work but I like people at my work.
None of that being different matters if you can just listen and talk to others without needing them to be like you.
I will say on the video games it may be a generational thing, my kids love both indie games and Minecraft/Genshin. Penultimate kid liked Disco Elysium so much. Youngest likes horror, I got them Amnesia and they loved it, said it was too scary to do much at one time.
Anyway, just let other people do what other people do. You can like them, you don’t need to change yourself or then
Off topic but speaking about generational things I see you opposed indie games to Minecraft/Genshin when I still vividly remember the days when Minecraft was very much indie x)
Ha! Well I can remember Pong and having to go to an arcade for anything more interesting. But yes I always thought of those two as wildly successful, so must not have been aware of the beginning time. Amnesia, I was so happy to surprise my youngest with, it was older and they had not heard of it but available for PS4 (& the penultimate kid is PC gamer, uses our old Dell which is a beast, I did some upgrades)
I am not a game snob, lol, play Pokemon Go all the time, myself. Often things are popular because they are good. But do love indie media of all sorts, and absolutely love when I can scoop the kids on something they have not heard of.
Try being an actual full blooded native person.
I’m 100% Ojibway, my parents on both sides were born raised and lived in the wilderness. I’m the first generation born in a modern hospital. My first language is ojibway, I spoke it exclusively for the first 15 years of my life. We learned English in school but we all spoke ojibway at home. I learned to hunt, trap, fish and live on the land from my parents and I love spending time outdoors. It’s all natural to me.
Now I live close to the city in a non native world. My wife is white and we spend most of our time to ourselves.
My family doesn’t think I’m native enough. White people don’t believe I’m native because I live like a city person. Most people don’t believe I’m native because I don’t have red weathered skin, a crooked nose and long braided hair. Many people have confused me as Chinese, Korean, or an overweight Thai, Cambodian or Lao. Or even Peruvian, Ecuador or Mexican.
I meet city Indians who have ancestry but have never lived on the land or know their communities or even speak the language yet they wear native stuff, necklaces and everything and get more recognition than me for being native.
I intimidate other natives when I speak my language because it reminds them that they can’t speak other than to know a few words or phrases. So now I seldom speak and as I grow older, the people I could speak to are now either dead, dying or too old.
I get funding as a native person but I get very little. I don’t live in reserve so I’m the last to get funding. I don’t get off reserve funding because I have full status with my community where I could live if I chose to. I get tax off on some things but not everything because I don’t live on reserve and doing my taxes every year is a nightmare, so in the end, I pay just about the same amount of taxes as everyone else and save just a little.
I’ve watched dozens of half breed, quarter breed, 1/8 breed, 1/16 breed natives with scholarships and paid education while I tried to fight for mine and never got it. I got high school but never got more than that.
I even know a couple of blue eyed, blonde Indians who got adopted into a native family and have full status and more help than I ever did.
People keep telling me I’m lucky to be native but I’ve experienced far too much racism and stupidity to be happy about who I am.
I’m neither treated as full native and I’m also not treated as non native either. It’s like I exist in some kind of native twilight zone.
Dude you are hands down probably the most interesting person I’d know if I knew you, those hunting skills and all that are just awesome yet at the same time you’re also just like a city everyman. If you ask me I’d say fuck them if they can’t accommodate you, you’re a star shining way too bright and too hard and too big for them anyway. I’m sorry about the racism and shit you’ve experienced, I can’t understand or help but at least know that this queer white woman half across the world would say you’re a bigger person than all those racists with nothing to do with their time combined.
I would love to learn even half of those things. No one really taught me, I remember going camping with scouts before and another guy was catching shellfish with his bare hands and I was so jealous that he could do it. But in the UK half of its illegal and the other half requires land owner permission which pretty much makes it for the rich only as they own the land. I like the outdoors, but it feels difficult to see and even harder to do so legally. Plus no one I know now has any interest in it so its always a solo activity when I do go out.
And yeah that guy catching shellfish was breaking the law by doing it, its illegal to use anything other than a fishing rod in freshwater and that requires a license and land owner permission too.
But in the UK half of its illegal and the other half requires land owner permission which pretty much makes it for the rich only as they own the land.
Weirdly enough this is one of the freedoms that Americans have that doesn’t get talked about enough! The laws in the US make it very easy for any average person to pick up hunting or fishing as a hobby. Basically just fill out a form on the Department of Natural Resources website for a permit, pay the fee, and only kill what you’re permitted to and when and release everything else and you’re golden. There’s tons of public places to hunt and fish (and in many states you can take a boat anywhere the public waterway goes, so if that cuts through private property then you’re allowed to take the boat through that private property because you’re on a public waterway) and there’s lots of land owners have a bit of undeveloped land that they’ll charge a small fee for permission to hunt on
I am also the son of two worlds. From the age of 6, I was always treated differently with one group of people compared to the other.
I didn’t get better until I was older, I thought it would in my twenties but it’s actually in my thirties that I found people who accept both sides of me but I always feel like it’s one side more than the other. It has made me a very withdrawn person.
On top of being autistic, I just would rather not deal with people.
an overweight Thai
That is oddly specific.
Huh. TIL all of this. Thanks for typing this out. I did a bit of a rabbit hole on your people over my morning coffee. Was more interesting than the usual crap I read before work 🤣👍🏻
Damn. Maybe it’s just me but your comment reads kinda disrespectful. OP shares their unique vulnerable experience, which relates to the original post. You don’t make the slightest effort to connect or respond to them as person or their story. Instead you google their ppl for a fun fact and pay their culture/story the compliment of “More interesting than the usual crap I read before work 🤣👍”.
Idk I can’t tell if I’m being overly sensitive, cuz no one part of your reply is really bad by itself. But all together, it’s hella trivializing imo.
Especially ending on the 🤣👍. Let’s say you post something heartfelt like, I’m depressed, I lost my job, I’m dealing with something right now, and someone replies and ends on 🤣👍. Unless there is a really funny joke before those emojis, pretty sure it would read bad.
OP thank you for sharing your story. I’m sorry you’re stuck between two worlds like this. Have you thought about if you and your wife have kids, would you teach them to speak ojibway or how to live off the land?
It’s you.
The only person who gets to judge whether the comment is disrespectful is OP, not you.
“It’s you.”
When you said that were you saying my comment was disrespectful? If so my friend I have it on good authority that the only person who can judge whether my comment was disrespectful was one of the OPs. Since you are not one of the OPs, I’m afraid, by your own logic, you are in fact the one being disrespectful.
Ultimately, I think I get what you mean. On the otherhand I seem to be judging that comment just fine.
I’m not trying to be a white knight over here or some shit. I got rude/bad vibes from that comment, mind you not hugely bad vibes, truly just enough bad vibes above the line for me to call it out.
If OP says comment was disrespectful apologize, but I’m not gonna stop calling shit rude when I see rude shit.
Definitely needs to get off 4chan. Weird people who don’t have this crab in a bucket ‘you’re not weird enough if you have a stable job and aren’t ugly’ mentality aren’t that hard to find outside of very specific corners of the internet.
