OP doesn’t understand what cultural progression is. Of course different people gonna do stuff differently as time progresses, the class she was when you where in high school is just irrelevant.
This is the case where op just has skill issue, and is stuck in the past like a boomer he is.
When you call someone born in the late 1990s a boomer though. It might be “hip” or “trendy” to do. But Boomers were born in the 50s man. Young kids calling adults from different generations “Boomers” just makes you sound like you didn’t pay attention in history class.
Language transforms. Where before boomer would be a word for the generation born during the babyboom, nowadays it’s used for old people who are unable to keep up with the times.
I mean I guess, but we have generations named for a reason. Calling everyone that’s old a boomer just makes you sound like you don’t know what you’re talking about IMO. To each their own I suppose.
Born in the 1900s? What’d you do before they invented fire? Ride dinos?
Ironic…
Would you say that for someone underage? Age is age, gap is gap.
I have not heard someone say “big mood” in years
i say it al the time lol
Big mood!
Anon’s girl is already falling behind
And now you understand why older men dating young girls is creepy, even if legal.
They have nothing in common. There’s no way. It’s pure physical attraction above all else.
you say this like they’re trying to fool anyone…it’s a transaction, they both know it, everyone else knows it
I’m 54 and most of the people I know are in their early 20s. We get along great and have plenty to talk about.
You don’t date though. A lot of people I know are young. Who else tf you going to meet nowadays.
Though I’d date 25+, screw 22+, not younger.
Meh, I won’t put strict age limits on sex. Relationships? I can guess what would and wouldn’t work for me, but the world is a big place and people are wildly variable.
Idk man. Isn’t screwing someone fresh out of high school a bit creepy? I mean come on, they were considered a kid maybe months ago. It’s suspicious if you do that.
One night stands are just animals fucking basically.
It only gets weird one there’s an actual relationship and unbalanced power dynamic going on.
But part of being young is being stupid and fucking something you shouldn’t have is basically stupid 101
Acquaintances/Friends and “dating” are not the same.
What if you like having sex with your friends?
Then that is really fucking hot.
Nothing wrong with that, but they’re friends. I get a long with coworkers, clients, etc, but inside a romantic relationship is completely different.
Only saying, we had far more in common than I had thought. I was replying to someone who said winter/spring relationships are only about physical attraction.
Yeah, I’m in my mid 30’s and my best friend is nearing 50. His oldest child is the same age as my younger brother. Believe it or not, people can have common interests that aren’t entirely reliant on their age.
Though I will say that age becomes less relevant as you get older… A 29 year old dating a 19 year old is pretty universally creepy, but few people would say the same about a 49 year old dating a 39 year old. Same age gap, but it’s assumed that the 39 year old has enough life experience to actually make their own decisions. Even in my mid-20’s, I was looking at 19 year olds as if they were literal children. There’s a lot of maturing that happens in the late teens and early 20’s.
You mean in the late 20’s and early 30’s. Not a lot of maturing until 25.
Edit: this assumes middle-european living and cultural conditions.
That depends on a lot of factors, e.g. whether they go to college or start working or doing trades directly after highschool.
Half your age + 7 is a reasonable formula for determining creep factor.
No, a 19 year old dating a 16 year old is still creepy.
The age it lands on is always the grey area age. If youre 19 dating someone 16.5 thats weird but 17.5 most wouldn’t bat an eye at.
I mean, maybe 17.5 and 18+, idk about 19. What’s the brain difference between some six months of people? You could have been in a perfectly fine relationship before also.
Sure, but there’s a difference between hanging out with some 20 year olds, and being romantically involved with them.
The latter requires a hell of a lot of maturity and being in a similar place in life to deal with things life throws at you. The former just requires laughing at some meme together you both find funny.
Agreed! But we had solid conversations, deep and involved. I was astonished at how mature and educated they were, forgot what I was like at that age.
I’ve found papers I wrote for school in my teens, thought, “Oh boy, this is gonna be some bullshit.” Read them and was surprised at my understanding of the world!
Guess my point is, I will never undersell the youth, not ever again. Dating someone half my age, meh, can’t really see it, but I do see it as possible for some.
That’s fair, and I would never say that youth are idiots or shouldn’t be listened to. That’s not true at all, I think they can have many valuable things to contribute to society, the conversation, the world, etc.
I’m strictly speaking about them as a romantic partner with such an age gap, especially one that starts when they’re 17/18 and the person they’re dating is in their 30’s or more. Nobody can convince me that that would be an equal relationship for both parties. I’ve attempted it in my late 20’s dating a few 18/19 year olds, and then again attempted it in my mid 30’s and it was a significantly worse experience.
They weren’t bad people in any way, or stupid, or immature in the pop-culture sense of the word. But the relationship was never going to work out, and it was because no matter which way you slice it, a mid 30’s man and a 19 or 20 year old girl are not at the same place in life. If they are, then it’s the older person who never grew up and is still behaving like a teenager.
All agreed! At 52 I considered a relationship with a 26-yo friend. If she didn’t have 3 tiny children, maybe? But no, just couldn’t see it working. I’d be 80 and her at 54? I’d be robbing her of her youth when she could have had a younger man to share that life with.
Funny enough, my Filipino wife is 6-months older than I, and she was fucking horrified to learn that. Her friends are all married to white dudes 20+ years older. Cultural thing. :)
Sometimes trading partnership for security is the way people go. I’m not saying it can’t work, but it’s rare that those partnerships are equal. The power imbalance is on display.
Lol I got downvoted for saying the same shit. Glad I’m not the only one who can see this.
Or both sides like to learn from each other and grow towards each other over time?
There are worse reasons why an extreme age gap is seen as creepy, “not knowing each others interests” is not one of them.
A lot of people are downvoting this because a 19 year old is an adult who can make their own choices and you are insinuating that there’s something so objectively wrong with dating an older person that it should be illegal.
I am not in any way suggesting it should be illegal. I don’t think I mentioned that once.
What I am insinuating that if you’re that young dating someone much older, there is almost always a massive power imbalance between the two in the relationship, romantically, and so it’s a very difficult thing to overcome.
If you’re a 30/40/50+ year old person dating a 19 year old, there is usually something wrong with one party, the other, or both in that scenario. A 19 year old, romantically, is not mature enough or at the same place in their life as a 50 year old person. This will, at best, strain the relationship significantly as each partner will want something different out of life as the relationship progresses.
If they don’t, then one of them is likely a deeply broken individual. And that’s usually going to be the much older person that’s got some issues happening.
The 19 year old truly doesn’t know any better, or thinks they do, or is getting something in trade like security from the much older person and they’re willing to give up other aspects of their life in trade for this.
The brainrot is real, even with “old hags”. My ex was 3 years younger than me, but she was an avid tiktok scroller. I was often being shown and taught about new “memes” that everyone promptly forgot about by the next week.
OP is still on 4chan. Lingo aside I’d say he’s in his maturity range.
Also 19 and 29 are both still Gen Z.
Is 30 the oldest genz or the youngest millennial?
The lines are fuzzy, and that’s why we have the term “Zilennial”. So let’s just toss them into that category and call it a day.
4channers should probably just stay out of the dating pool entirely.
Can’t fathom calling a 28 year old a hag 💀
Late-stage brainrot
My man just wants to fuck children.
Anon isn’t down skibidi style
Getting head while on the toilet?
He doesn’t know
I actually vibe more with the generations after me than my own; but I would find it creepy myself to be with someone who isn’t relatively close to my own age.
When did we as a society give up on the “½ X +7” minimum dating age formula?
Just FYI, this rule falls apart after a certain age (in the 60s or 70s).
After that age, the older party is essentially a lottery ticket
laughs in Medicaid
That’s not the only thing that falls apart in your seventies, eyyyy
Sigh, ain’t that the truth.
This reminder me for some reason of how my grandfather cheated on his wife a few years ago and had a heart attack during sex. He’s like 80 or so.
Gotta look after your ticker if you’re going to stay active at that age. Condolences and/or congrats to his wife though.
Condolences indeed, he’s still alive.
When you have heart procedures/ surgery, they tell you, “no sex for 6 weeks with your spouse, 8 weeks with anyone else.” Theres science backing up the extra strain/excitement of having sex with someone else
But honey, the doctor said I could have sex with other women if I waited 8 weeks after the surgery, so it’s not cheating!
I mean, once you’re both above 30 who fucking cares
Nah I think it holds up. Bill Belichick, 73, was in the news for dating a 24 year old and it’s not only as creepy and gross, but also like she’s taking advantage of him by inserting herself into his interviews.
If he were dating a 43 year old, I don’t think anyone would be nearly as concerned.
Wow that actually makes sense.
But then again, I’m born 1994, there’s not so many I can actually date. I have like 1990 - 1998 available, and they must be an only child or have siblings within that age as well, otherwise the interests are not overlapping enough to spend time together: those younger are TikTok addicted, those older are Facebook-relicts. I’m in limbo where I know all of that but don’t like anything.
The clumsy portmanteau of facebook and derelicts if I had to guess. That one is just dreadful. Go with Facebougoise or something, The Faceborg maybe (I actually like that one), something like that.
Just for a little context, the minimum age being ((your age / 2)+7) is meant to be “this is the minimum age of someone you can date without it being creepy” (i believe it originated from the TV show how i met your mother)
If you were born in 1994 you are either 30 or 31. Let’s call it 30 for easy math.
30/2 = 15 15+7=22
So anyone who is 22 or older fits the minimum age concept, which is anyone born in approx 2002/2003 or earlier. If you decided to include that, the extra 4-5 years does increase the dating pool quite a bit.
I’m not telling you who to date, just giving a little context to the math since that’s what was brought up in the original comment.
Also, for the maximum age they are the younger one. So assuming age is 30, substract 7 and multiply the outcome by 2, maximum date age is 46…
No one knows the true origin of the idea but there’s a number of examples that predate how I met your mother by over a hundred years.
The first published example is Max O’Rell in Her Royal Highness, Woman: And His Majesty—Cupid from 1901
I heard the other day a very good piece of advice, which I should like to repeat here, as I endorse it thoroughly : A man should marry a woman half his age, plus seven. Try it at whatever age you like, and you will find it works very well, taking for granted all the while that, after all, a man as well as a woman is the age that he looks and feels.
Interesting, though this sounds like it’s not supposed to be the minimum age, but the ideal age.
Interesting stuff thanks for adding. I added an edit to address. Appreciate you chiming in
(i believe it originated from the TV show how i met your mother)
Although the provenance of the rule is unclear, it is sometimes said to have originated in France.[81] The rule appears in John Fox Jr.'s 1903 novel The Little Shepherd of Kingdom Come,[84] in American newspapers in 1931 attributed to Maurice Chevalier,[85] and in The Autobiography of Malcolm X, attributed to Elijah Muhammad.[86]
In many early sources, the rule was primarily presented as a formula to calculate the ideal age of a female partner at the beginning of a heterosexual relationship. Frederick Locker-Lampson’s Patchwork from 1879 states the opinion “A wife should be half the age of her husband with seven years added.”[87] Max O’Rell’s Her Royal Highness Woman from 1901 gives the rule in the format “A man should marry a woman half his age, plus seven.”[88]
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_disparity_in_sexual_relationships
See I didn’t know that was the origin. I like it better as an outside boundary.
That’s really interesting, thanks for sharing!
It had to be a thing before how I met your mother, I remember it being a thing during school in the 80-90’s
Invert this rule to get the maximum age you can date (defined as the person whose minimum age is your current age):
min age = (your age / 2) + 7 max age = (your age * 2) - 14
If you’re 30, then you can reasonably date people between 22 and 46. So the other guy can add even more years before 1990.
to those who downvoted, why?
Because of this part:
they must be an only child or have siblings within that age as well, otherwise the interests are not overlapping enough to spend time together
…those younger are TikTok addicted, those older are Facebook-relicts.
You’re being very assuming with people and that’s why the downvotes.
Not every person will be “TikTok addicted” or “Facebook-relicts”, you’re just assuming they are which is only affecting your own chances finding someone.
Try just getting to know someone first before you start assuming about their interests or what they do.
… and they must be an only child or have siblings within that age as well, otherwise the interests are not overlapping enough to spend time together…
Who says you have to spend time with your SO’s siblings for any great length of time? Parties and holidays you can get through, but it’s not like you’re going to go live with the family.
You and your SO should both have your own friends and hobbies (in addition to joint friends/hobbies). I’m not trying to crap on having a relationship with your SO’s family, just that it’s not mandatory.
I feel like removing these two arbitrary requirements would vastly increase your dating pool. I get that people are looking for traits in a potential partner (doesn’t smoke / drinks / poly / not-poly / uses Arch) but the ones you’ve picked are just self limiting
When we decided to mind our own business and stop moralizing other people’s relationships based on our personal feelings.
Exactly, this “rule” is really just equivalent to other forms of snake oil there is. It is baseless and completely made up.
Found Leo’s account.
Seriously though why so hostile about this? Of course it’s made up, it’s a general rule of thumb, and it describes whether people are likely to look at a couple and say, “ew”.
One day I mentionned this rule while having a dinner with friends. One of them was a woman I met fir the first time.
It turned out his husband was way older than this rule allowed when they met. And now that the rule is fine, she didn’t felt bad about her husband.
Seriously, I felt so shitty. Let people loves who they love without discrimination as long as this is consensual between adults.
That’s because it’s all based on assumptions and projected morals. Commonly treated as a ultimate truth not as a “rule of thumb” as it is destined to be - hostility is built in this “rule”.
In general, this rule essentially dictates the ethics of independent people. Because of this there is no description, it’s a requirement to say “ew”.
It matches experiences, if you read the other replies.
I don’t quite agree with the replies. The statement “it matches experiences” is baseless as stated in my other reply.
In general, experience ≠ age. This is because experience is influenced by various physical factors such as opportunities, learning environments, etc. Not exactly by age.
What’s interesting is this rule apparently originated from the early 1900s.
Ah, so “half your age plus seven” wasn’t the low end, it was the target.
That certainly re-frames things.
Probably about the time that we decided that a certain age means you’re an adult and can, in fact, make decisions for yourself
Nothing ever changes.
Exactly! Why the fuck would anyone want to date someone that much younger than them? I will never understand why so many men want to date girl so young.
I mean, i’d like to date someone that much older than me.
Why? (Genuine question if you feel like sharing) Like, I too prefer older partners, but not that much older.
Honestly, because i’m a 20 something year old man with no life experiences and I don’t know how to survive on my own. Someone older with more experience who would be willing to teach me would be nice. It’s a big ask I guess. I don’t really know what else to do. I’m lonely and i’d like to meet someone kind, caring, and beautiful who can be a friend, lover, and teacher if you will. I haven’t told anyone this because it makes me sound desperate and like a lost cause.
Ah, I see. I understand. That’s a big part of why I like older partners too.
younger partners are easier to control.
and less worldly experience means they won’t notice their dull personality.
lack of maturity and life milestones to date similar age ranges.
over emphasis on bodily needs.
and i repeat, control.
They do it because the primary motivation they have for seeking the “relationship”, for lack of a better word, is mostly concerned with indulging in the form/condition/use of the person’s body and has little concern for the form/condition/use of the their personality.
This means, of course, that any other time they have to spend with the person, that doesn’t involve indulging in hedonistic physical pursuits, will be a constant reminder that they have little in common with, and no interest in, the mind/personality of the person they’re diddling at all.
People are feeling all kinds of pressure these days. If they want to have kids they need a lot of resources. But having a lot of resources is really difficult to do when you’re young. So that naturally suggests a compromise: one old with resources and one young with health.
Wait, but I thought men hated “gold diggers”? And also, that’s the result of our fucked up late stage capitalism economic system and not how things should work. A young couple should be able to afford to live comfortably and have children if they want.
People make life choices based on how things are, not how they ought to be.
Generally a “gold digger” refers to a young woman who marries an elderly rich man with the intent of gaining a large inheritance, not a young woman who marries an established (but still working) man a few decades her senior with the intent of raising a family. A big “gold digger tell” is that the rich guy already has adult children who end up in a feud with his new young wife (because she represents a threat to their inheritance).
Oh really? I thought it ment a women marring for money in general.
People can do what they want, but women shouldn’t have to feel like they have to marry some dude a decade older just to have a decent life and start a family. That’s all I’m saying.
Sure, they shouldn’t, but that’s life now. You gotta have a lot of money to have children today.
What I mean I’ve been alive a long time. I’m not sure how I was supposed to accrue resources through that though.
Also who wants to date a 19 year old they’d be really annoying.
Maybe you need to flip the idea and date a rich 19y/o Instead
The question is “why would anyone want to date someone much younger than them (presumably up to a couple decades)?” not specifically about dating a 19 year old.
Not everyone can accrue a bunch of resources over time of course. But your odds of doing so are much better in your working years than when you’re in school.
A friend of friend I’ve met a couple times is into me. They’re 23 and I’m 30 and I still don’t have an interest. They’re perfectly nice, but…
I think after 28-30 it starts to really not matter that much but before that even smallish gaps can be pretty questionable. And any dude that would consider someone their age to be a “hag” probably largely dates younger because mature, experienced women can tell they’re really just garbage man-children.
really just garbage man-children
It’s a green-text, we knew that from the get-go
Yes, but even people who don’t go online much, even people I actually do care about in my own life, still fall into that category. The people I care about tend to be much nicer and wouldn’t call someone a hag but they do lack a certain level of maturity. Green-text makes it near certain but it’s a “not all rectangles are squares” situation.
Oh, but all rectangles are squares if we shoehorn a non-standard metric (this comment has absolutely nothing to do with the thread and it’s just a dumb math joke).
Oh 100%. I knew a guy that was my age, that was always trying to date younger, because no women our age would deal with his bullshit. So… I guess I do understand, huh.
I agree with this. For me, so so much integral growth happens between ages 20 and 26-28 or so, and I don’t really think people in general know who they are or what they want in life until then. Not true for everyone of course. All the people I know who married young are either divorced or super unhappy though so it may skew my perception a bit.
For real. When I was 24, I dated a 19 year old for like two weeks. They were really nice and interesting, but ultimately the age gap proved to make a relationship unviable. I can’t even imagine a nine year gap at that age. Gross.
40 year old here, dating a 19 year old, consensual D/s relationship: she is not for talking. You place a collar on her and then tell her what you want to hear. They need training before they’re good at anything.
Hi! Sorry to inconvenience you, but I have just one question. The fuck did I just read?
Either the most unwholesome Dom and sub description iv ever seen in my life or a rape fetish relationship?
Either way as sonic would say. THATS NO GOOD
Police? This one right here!
This is how I perceive the 28 year old to be.
I’m 34 dating a 25 year old myself. Which I checked, it passes the “Half your age plus 7” test
(34 / 2 = 17 + 7 = 24) Sometimes I still feel weird about it though
“My girlfriend did this test and I think its broken? Her minimum age is higher than her starting age”
@ 30 22 feels waaay too damn young. tf am I even gonna talk to this person about? I’m a decade in to a high stress high reliability industry. I’m starting to get Greg hairs! I make jokes about all the child rapists I met while working for the state! Too much happened in that 8 years between us. Too damn much.
Yeah, at 27, 22 was already like too young for me. Let alone 20.
God damn it Greg!
I’m just a bit older, but been there.
I could never get past it though. I have a daughter too, and it really just takes one experience where they really remind you of your kid and… yeah, I don’t think I can do this y’all.
Half plus seven is just a rough rule of thumb, that tries to capture some different concepts at play.
Personally, I never liked dating across major life milestone ages like 22, college graduation. The mid 20’s are just an important phase in developing one’s personality and sense of self, and being outside of the school environment is an important transition to learn. So when I was 30 I had a hard cutoff at 25, as I didn’t want to be with anyone who still identified with being a recent college student.
I felt like a very different person as between 18 and 22, and between 22 and 26. But 26 wasn’t that different from 30, and 30 to 35 only saw some slight changes. It’d be hypothetical because I was already in a committed relationship after 32 or so, but when I was 35 my cutoff probably would’ve been late 20’s, and when I was 40 my cutoff would’ve probably been around 30.
My partner’s sister is 19, I’m in my early 30s now. But I met my partner when she was 19, I often ask myself did she come across as this annoying to people in their 30s back then?
Yes.
