I’m a parent of one child who is the opposite of feral and never gets hit.

And while yes obviously we should not teach our children that physical abuse is how we keep people in line, this conversation needs to go far beyond the level if disciplinary tactics. What’s the whole overall parenting strategy?

I submit that actually having a strategy leads to less abuse, and that those who are the quickest to abuse are also the ones who do not take the time to reflect on themselves, their parenting, life, etc. At least not in a way that could potentially make them feel bad or change their ways.

And I’m not even trying to position myself as a perfect parent above physical intervention. Especially when safety is involved. But you have to leave room for escalation. If everything is met with the same reaction of losing your shit, then no bad behaviors seem any worse than others.

I don’t know if modern people are truly any worse at parenting than past generations, or if it’s yet another example of humanity’s shittiness being exposed by our explosion in communications technology.

Yoooo, I have two kids who I have never laid a hand on, and they behave extremely well compared to their peers (not perfect by any means, but I am very happy with them). My father beat the shit out of me when I was a kid, and what did that get him? Me hating him until now. I still help him and take care of him, but to be 100% honest, I don’t have love for the man. You don’t need to beat a little being who has no defense to make them behave, this is just absurd and stupid.

How about we just say no to the idea of beating kids

If your kid comes home from school saying another kid beat them up ofc you’d be horrified yet some parents are okay with hitting their own kids and it makes no sense

Every child i encounter is extremely well behaved

“I was abused as a child so I think other children should also be abused” - cringe-ass toktok moron

“Those pesky kids need a beating” is a meme several thousands years old

Yeah but then I see grown ass adults doing the same shit. And since they’re my age they more than likely got beat.

I see a lot of objectionable behavior out in public. A lot of it is from children. But most of it is not. If I’m thinking through my 10 worst flight experiences, or subway experiences, or coffee shop experiences, none of them involve children. Children are mostly a mild annoyance (and I say this as someone who mostly doesn’t like other people’s kids), but mostly harmless.

So the reaction of singling out the children for immediate correction, through physical force and violence, seems to be selectively targeted, and makes me suspect it’s just people who just don’t like children. Unless these same people say that a person holding up the line, playing music too loud on the subway, getting too close in your personal space, throwing trash on the ground, catcalling women, using slurs in public, etc., all deserve to be beaten, too.

And for people in the thread who are saying stuff like “oh yeah you shouldn’t beat your kids, but you should keep those children out of public places,” it also calls to mind the way some people talk about the homeless or the disabled, like they’re ruining your good time by simply existing within your vicinity.

We’re all just trying to coexist. Being in public, in a place open and accessible to everyone else, is inherently going to involve compromise, where we’re not able to exclude others (the deal that comes with them not being able to exclude you). You can’t let other people aggravate you enough to, like, post a TikTok about it (which I also consider to be objectionable behavior).

My 11-month old is an absolute saint when we’re out and about, then a horrifying tornado of destruction when he’s at home. I suspect a lot of it is just boredom, but its hard to tell because… 11-mo olds aren’t great at verbalizing their discontent.

As he gets older and he starts losing that starstruck look of wonderment at the mall or a new restaurant or wherever, I suspect he’ll be harder to control. But he’s also incredibly clever, athletic, and curious. I don’t want to discourage any of this just to make parenting a bit easier in the short term.

Can’t fucking imagine actually hitting him. I know what that did to me after the rare few times my mom did it. I still can’t bring myself to forgive her 30 years later. And there’s no way I want my son thinking of me that way.

no body is stopping you now

When I was a kid, my parents used to leave me at home with my brother and he would be abusive af. He tied me up ones with zipties. One time, I felt so scared of my brother, I had to run away from home. I’m so used to all this, every time I hear my mother’s voice, I feel terrified, its like PTSD-inducing.

Then my mother gets [suprisedpikachuface.jpg] when I have depression. What did you expect, bitch, you caused this.

It’s pretty hard being a dad and wanting to not hit my kids (which I do not) because I know damn well when they’re throwing shit and having an absolute exorcist level tantrum over some inconsequential shit I just think “yeah my mum would have smacked my ass and I’d not have done that again” for the eighth time each day…

“Calm it down or you’ll lose your tablet time” doesn’t have the same immediate corrective effect.

I don’t mind rambunctious children, as long as they aren’t hurting anyone, doing ear piercing screaming, or doing something that spreads disease. (Like putting their hands directly into ice cream topping trays instead of using the fucking scoop)

Frequently I see parents be way overly harsh with their kids where I’m at like the parent is terrified of being seen as a bad/lazy parent so they take it out on their kid by way over reacting to a kid doing something disruptive but ultimately pretty harmless.

There are occasional situations where the parent just dumbly stands there doing nothing to stop their kid doing something they really shouldn’t (like that Ice Cream Topping example… which is a thing I recently witnessed). But that’s less common than the former. Might be because I live in a rural conservative hellhole where kids are seen as their parent’s property.

It’s crazy seeing kids being kids. In the 90’s abuse was legal and used, daily. I guess the trade off is life expectancy since we didn’t dodge bullets on the daily.